and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
