I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
