Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
