HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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