Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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