He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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