I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
