chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
