The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
