He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
