sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize