is your mom at the bar?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
