I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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