why didn't you poke me back
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
