Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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