The maid of honor just puked.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
