i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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