So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
