did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You took a bar mat shot.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
