if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
