You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
