That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
