I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
