alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
