Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
