Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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