It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
