Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
