I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
