I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
