so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize