This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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