no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
