You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They have beer where we have blood.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
