high people should be assigned attendants
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
