Tell her she can't have a vagina
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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