i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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