All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
