Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
