I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
