I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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