I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
