so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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