I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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