he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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