So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
