Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
