It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
