did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
