I'm jealous of your bromance
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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