Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
