By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
