Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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