Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize