He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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