plz talk dirty to me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
