i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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