I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize