Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
