I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
