handjob tips. give me some.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
