your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
