I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
