Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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