what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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