i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
