Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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